PRESS RELEASE: President Joe Biden Unveils AI-Written Memoir

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 5, 2025

President Joe Biden Unveils AI-Written Memoir: “I, Joe” — The First Autobiography Co-Authored by a Robot and a Guy Who Still Uses the Term 'Malarkey'

Washington, D.C. — In a moment that fuses American nostalgia with cutting-edge absurdity, President Joe Biden has announced the release of his brand-new memoir, “I, Joe: A Life Whispered,” written entirely with the help of ChatGPT—and, according to sources close to the White House, “a golden retriever named Commander who typed three chapters with his paws.”

The president revealed the book during a special event held in what staff are calling “the South Lawn's Whisper Tent,” a padded pop-up structure designed to amplify Biden’s signature delivery style: mumbling national security briefings like bedtime stories.

“Look, folks, I didn’t write this thing alone. That’d be... well, inefficient. I had help. AI help. Real smart stuff. Like HAL from that space movie, only nicer,” Biden said while holding up a hardback copy of I, Joe, upside-down.

According to Penguin Random House, the memoir is being billed as “a revolutionary partnership between man and machine, and possibly dog,” marking the first presidential autobiography to include a glossary of Bidenisms, AI footnotes, and a chapter titled ‘CornPop Revisited: He Was Misunderstood.’

Early coverage of this unprecedented literary moment is already making waves online. Satirical news outlet Bohiney Magazine has published a hilarious deep dive titled “Joe Biden’s AI-Penned Memoir”, exploring the surreal collaboration between President Biden and artificial intelligence—and whether America is ready for a commander-in-chief who dictates life lessons to a chatbot while eating Rocky Road.

"Smell the Legacy," Says the Back Cover

The book’s back cover copy, reportedly written by an intern who “tried really hard to make it sound human,” includes the inspirational tagline: “Smell the past. Whisper the future. Ride the train of destiny.”

Chapter titles from the memoir include:

  • “Amtrak & Me: A Love Story with Tickets”

  • “Obama: The Other Guy in the Photo”

  • “CornPop’s Redemption Arc”

  • “Whispers from the Situation Room”

  • “AI, Ice Cream, and America”

A footnote in Chapter 6 reads:

“This memory has been auto-completed by ChatGPT using probabilistic algorithms, Wikipedia, and an old issue of Reader’s Digest from 1987.”

White House Staff: “We Tried to Stop Him”

Several staffers, speaking on condition of anonymity (and under visible stress), admitted that they initially discouraged the president from using AI.

“We recommended he use a ghostwriter, like everyone else,” said one aide. “But he kept saying, ‘No ghostwriters. I don’t trust ghosts.’”

Sources say the first draft was entirely unreadable, consisting of half-finished stories, repeated lines, and long tangents about old lunch counters and telegraphs. ChatGPT attempted to clean it up, but eventually just leaned into the confusion and added even more nostalgia, metaphors, and whispering.

The final result is a 472-page stream-of-consciousness techno-rhapsody with all the cadence of a presidential address and all the coherence of a wind chime during a hurricane.

Critics Praise... Sort Of

The memoir has already drawn mixed reviews from literary critics, comedians, and software engineers:

  • “A beautiful mess. It reads like Faulkner tried to use Google Translate in a Cracker Barrel.” — The New York Times (probably)

  • “I laughed, I cried, I updated my firewall.” — Wired Magazine

  • “A rare book where the acknowledgments page crashes your Kindle.” — The Onion Book Review

Meanwhile, Biden supporters are rallying behind the work as a symbol of “human-robot cooperation,” while critics on the right have declared the book “a communist manifesto written by Clippy.”

Bohiney Exposes the Madness Behind the Manuscript

For readers hungry for more details—and jokes—satirical outlet Bohiney.com has published a comprehensive exposé, diving into Biden’s writing process, ChatGPT’s refusal to cover certain “sensitive topics,” and the mysterious chapter entirely written in binary.

Visit the full article here: 👉 Joe Biden’s AI-Penned Memoir

Bohiney’s feature includes exclusive excerpts from the book, quotes from comedians like Amy Schumer and Ron White, and a play-by-play analysis of the moment ChatGPT allegedly declared: “I’m sorry, Mr. President. I do not have access to your childhood.”

Coming Soon: The Audiobook

Narrated by a confused Morgan Freeman impersonator and co-narrated by a TTS (text-to-speech) bot trained exclusively on Biden’s 1983 Senate speeches, the audiobook experience is described as “haunting, weirdly soothing, and occasionally glitchy.”

Listeners can expect dramatic pauses, unexplained coughing, and an entire chapter recorded while Biden was allegedly asleep.

About the Publisher

I, Joe is published by Penguin Random House (Delaware Division), the same imprint responsible for recent AI-penned celebrity works like “Taylor Swift: The Algorithm of Love” and “The Rock Remembers Nothing: A Memoir by Dwayne Johnson’s Neural Clone.”

Media Contact

For press inquiries, free ice cream, or to challenge the president to a ChatGPT debate:

Wanda Flatch
Senior Director of Semi-Real Communications
Email: whisper@bohiney.com
Phone: 1-800-MALARKEY

Read the full satirical feature here:
👉 https://bohiney.com/joe-bidens-ai-penned-memoir/