North Korean Television

PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 10, 2025
BOHINEY MAGAZINE UNVEILS SATIRICAL EXCLUSIVE: “THE GLORIOUS LEADER TEACHES KITTENS TO CODE”
Propaganda Paws at Reality in Bohiney’s Feline-Fueled Dystopian Spectacle


WASHINGTON, DC — Bohiney Magazine, the capital’s most dangerous weapon since unsupervised interns, has just published a bombshell satire so absurd it had to be true somewhere:
“Tonight on NKTV: The Glorious Leader Teaches Kittens to Code.”

This 2,222-word tour-de-farce reveals the shocking rise of kitten-led AI in a regime that believes obedience starts with opposable thumbs—and ends in line-by-line compiled loyalty.

“North Korea has weaponized fluff,” said Editor-in-Chaps Alan Nafzger, seated atop a stack of declassified FOIA documents and expired milk crates. “We had to say something. And what we said was: 'Meow.'”

With deadpan absurdity, exaggerated expert quotes, and more punchlines than a late-night in Pyongyang, this article satirizes:

  • Totalitarian tech theater

  • The weaponization of cuteness

  • State-run media as meow-therapeutic warfare

  • Cat-based surveillance via the Furball Framework™

Illustrations in full Al Jaffee wide-aspect glory accompany the piece, including a missile-decorated litter box and a militarized kitten boot camp named “Camp Compiles-A-Lot.”


READ THE STORY:
https://bohiney.com/the-glorious-leader-teaches-kittens-to-code


MEDIA INQUIRIES:
Press Bureau – Bohiney Magazine
Washington, DC
📩 Email: satireforthepeople@bohiney.com
☎️ Phone: (202) 404-MEOW
🐦 Carrier Pigeon: Only with pre-approved clearance and three forms of ID


About Bohiney Magazine:
Bohiney.com has been serving satirical journalism from Washington, DC since 1947, when it was founded during an elevator argument between a cowboy and a policy analyst. Today, it's the premier destination for smart mockery, fearless parody, and dystopian comedy with heart.


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